Issue 4

Australia Takes Further Steps to Tackle Pedophiles

Australia has taken drastic measures to tackle its growing pedophile problem by introducing another seemingly bizzarre law. After intoducing a law banning pornographic images featuring women with small breasts a few months ago, Austalian PM Bruce Ramsay-Erinsborough called a press conference to reveal the new law.

The law, named The Bonza Wappers Bill, states that "Anyone found to be engaging in sexual acts with any female with breasts smaller than a partially inflated mini football shall be punched in the face by Russel Crowe. Offenders will also have to serve community service in the form of guest starring in a special episode of Neighbours warning the public of the dangers of leaving your children with babysitters who later turn out to be flaming pedos."

The move has outraged small breasted women across Australia and a large group of them have gathered outside the PM's ranch in protest. Bruce Ramsay-Erinsborough has declined to give an official statement on the matter, but has been overheard saying "Crikey Sheila, if these children don't get off my lawn by the time I finish my Fosters, I'll have to call their parents."


New Info Leaked on "Britain MMO"

Limeysofts new game, codenamed "Britain MMO", has been in developement for some time now and we were beginning to wonder if the game was still in development. But new information has been leaked recently about the game's races, reassuring the fans of its ongoing development.

Here are some of the races on offer and their associated perks:

White
Race Traits
Heroic Racism: Damage dealt to races other than white is increased 10%
Mob Mentality: When in groups of 5 or more white players, strength is increased by 10%. Inteligence however is decreased 15%
Exploitation: If a white character is in a group with other races, the white player gains and extra 10% gold per non white player in the group, whilst all non white players gain 10% less.

Black
Race Traits
Presence: If a black player is the only black player in a group, popularity is increased 50%, causing buffs and healing effects to increase dramatically. However, if 5 or more black players form a group, popularity decreases 50%, causing extra hostility from enemies, especially the law.
Intimidate: Can intimidate other characters. Works better on higher level enemies (i.e. the elderly)

Oriental
Race Traits
Gaijin: All spells aimed at friendly Oriental players is increased by 20%, whilst all spells aimed at other races are decreased by 20%
Pearl Harbour: Gains 10% attack power if attacking a wounded enemy
Gozirra: Naturally talented at bringing down massive enemies

Asian
Race Traits
Taxi: Asian characters gain a 20% speed boost whilst mounted
Bhurka: Asian characters gain a 40% boost in stealth
Bargaining: Asian characters gain a 5% discounts at NPC shops


Pirates Get Clever

With the new Digital Economy Bill in place, users of illegal torrents have taken to more "creative" means of distributing their illegal wares. In an attempt to mask their filesharing of copyrighted material, they have started intentionally misspelling the names of their games, music and movies. We take a look at ways to foil those pesky lawmen and their bizarre "don't steal our shit" laws.





















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